Unless you were too busy fashioning a World Cup trophy made out of cocaine you are aware that last Thursday’s start of the free agency bonanza will clearly alter the landscape of the NBA. But while much of the hyperbole surrounding this watershed offseason is about positive change (sans Cleveland’s potential dumpster fire), the set-backs of signing the wrong free agent are just as impactful.

For starters, here is a detailed explanation of the true meaning of cap space written by Larry Coon at Hoops World.

With eight teams in position to make a significant offer to a maximum-salary player, there will inevitably be more losers than winners. And while James, Wade, Bosh, etc. are the headliners, several notable free agents will stand to benefit from the hundreds of millions of dollars in total cap space available; meaning teams will have a major opportunity to overpay somebody that is not worth it.

In 48 hours irresponsible teams seemingly clamored to do exactly that. Over-his-head Minnesota GM David Khan, on cue, signed Darko Milicic for four years, $20 million, effectively bidding against himself. Not to be outdone, Toronto’s brass (led by the overrated decision-making prowess of two-time Executive of the Year, Brian Colangelo) inked Amir Johnson for $34 million over five years. (Tim Chisolm from TSN tries to defend the latter deal, but admits it may only be positive if the Raptors can add more pieces).

What’s worse, depending on how some of the vastly more important dominos fall, there could be more teams with money, meaning more potential for the kind of contracts that stomp a financial crater in a team’s payroll. Take Cleveland, for example. If James walks, the Cavs enter the market with unexpected cash available and a frenzied, panic-inducing need to halt a franchise decapitation with a band-aid.

July should be exciting, but considering the number of dubious general managers running teams it is a potential nightmare scenario for fans. Of course, unless they have a desire to watch Carlos Boozer get paid like a No.1 option when he’s little more than a very good No. 3.

As a bit of a cautionary tale, we decided to once again find out who immolated 18th century highwaymen. In effect, what players earned the most and played the worst. To do so, we created a 15-man roster, complete with starters (the biggest thieves), a bench, and reserve list. We also list a handful of players that weren’t quite terrible enough or paid handsomely enough to make the cut. But as you’ll notice from last year’s squad, in this organization there’s always room for advancement.

Note: We added a fifth category this year called “The Big Letdown.” To a certain extent, the category is inspired by Shaquille O’Neal’s performance with the Cavaliers; a former all-star who is paid like one, but failed to perform like it.

THE RULES

Each individual performance was weighted against his salary and team success to create a 15-man roster. In doing so, we considered two important parameters. 1) All players were required to be “eligible” to play in at least 35-percent of their teams’ games last season. Thus, an injured player who was unproductive (Greg Oden) could not appear. 2) Each player’s annual salary was in excess of $4.5 million (rounded). 

STARTING FIVE

Player, 2009-10 team (team that originally signed contract), 2009-10 salary / *Appeared on last year’s list

Gilbert Arenas, Wizards (WSH), $16,192,080.

Under any other circumstances it would be crazy to put a guy who averaged 22.6 points, 7.2 assists and 4.2 rebounds on this list. It breaks several key rules that we already put in place and is better than any two of the other 14 players combined. Within the context of “normal” NBA contracts, Arenas’ could be worse, so let’s just say we’re working with a “soft cap” on this one. The dude threatened a colleague with a gun, while at the workplace. As if that’s not bad enough, he thought it was funny.

Tracy McGrady, Knicks (HOU), $22,843,124.

Remember when the sleepy-eyed McGrady was an annual leader in jersey sales? Or when despite his monster efforts (29.9 ppg / 6.8 apg / 6.6 rpg in six series after leaving Toronto) he failed to bail his teams out of the first round of the playoffs? Or when his regular season numbers (32.1 ppg / 6.5 rpg / 5.5 apg in ’03-04) mirrored a certain King? In other words, remember when he was relevant?  After returning from microfracture surgery, he alienated himself from the Rockets, was used for his expiring contract by the Knicks and only played more than 30 minutes in seven games, including four appearances in April. Season stats: 8.2 ppg / 3.1 rpg / 3.3 apg / 22.4 mpg / 38.7% fg.

Bobby Simmons, Nets (MIL), $11,242,666.*

From December 19 until the end of the season Simmons played six total minutes, despite being relatively healthy all year. In February the highest paid player on the fourth-worst team in NBA history told the NY Daily News that the situation was “not embarrassing because it’s out of my control.” Stats: 5.3 ppg / 2.7 rpg / 2.26 fpg / 17.2 mpg / 23 games.

Tyson Chandler, Bobcats (CHI), $11,700,000.

The former No. 2 overall pick was so irrelevant in Charlotte that NBA.com didn’t even bother to change his profile picture. Here’s his stat line: 6.5 ppg / 6.3 rpg / 1.1 bpg / 22.8 mpg. Oddly enough, those numbers aren’t far off his career averages (8.1 / 8.8 / 1.4 / 27.6). According to Chandler’s official website, “If you stay positive, you’ll be positively moving in the right direction…” Maybe that’s what the Hornets were thinking when they acquired him from the Bulls in 2006 with five years, $54 million remaining on his deal. And I’m sure that’s what the Bobcats must have thought when trading for him three years later. 

Jermaine O’Neal, Heat (IND), $23,016,000.

Over the last two seasons, Bill Simmons has made calling O’Neal a zombie as synonymous as the words Ty Pennington and tool.  He actually played better in ’09-10 than ’08-09, but let’s just call this a career achievement award. In effect, O’Neal’s “Dawn of the Dead” reprisal is on its third act, all the while topping the payroll scale at more than 20-mil per. O’Neal’s should be the primary example of why the owners want to slash the NBA’s salary structure in the coming collective bargaining agreement. Stats: 13.6 ppg / 6.9 rpg / 1.4 bpg / 28.4 mpg. During five playoff games, the six-time All-Star scored 4.2 ppg with  5.6 rpg, 2.0 bpg in 23.4 mpg.

BENCH

T.J. Ford, Pacers (TOR), $8,500,000.

Ford fell out of favor in Indiana because, according to Indy Star writer Mike Wells, he had “trouble grasping (coach) Jim O’Brien’s pass-first offense.” How big of a waste was Ford for the Pacers? O’Brien likely summed it up best, saying, “It’s a matter of playing the people you think give the best opportunity to win.” Just think, had rookie A.J. Price moved into the rotation in place of their $8.5 million starter a little sooner, the Pacers could have won, some, 35 games or so, instead of 32. Ford’s stats: 10.3 ppg / 3.8 apg / 1.9 turnovers per game / 8 of 50 3-pt / 25.3 mpg / 47 games. 

Andres Nocioni, Kings (CHI), $7,500,000.

Now the 76ers problem. Here’s what Nocioni did in ’09-10: 8.5 ppg / 3.0 rpg / 1.0 apg / 39.9% fg / 19.7 mpg

Jason Kapono, 76ers (TOR), $6,212,960.

It’s never a good sign when the points per game (5.7) are lower than annual salary ($6.2 million). In 57 games and 12 starts, Kapono grabbed 1.2 rebounds, and shot 36.8% from downtown and 41.9% from the field. In 458 career games he’s averaged 7.3 ppg, yet he ate up around 11% of Philly’s 2010 cap space.

Eddy Curry, Knicks (NY), $10,500,423.*

According to 82games.com, Curry played 2% of the Knicks minutes, equaling a -12.6 in simple on/off rating. New York could have invested in Circuit City, sold their stock minutes before the company closed their doors for good and still received a better return on their inflated investment. (Note: Fat jokes about Eddy Curry never seem to run their course.) Stats: 3.7 ppg / 1.9 rpg / 0.1 bpg / 8 of 21 fgs / 8.9 mpg / seven games

Dan Gadzuric, Bucks (MIL), $6,749,260.*

When Milwaukee originally signed Gadzuric it was not an error in judgment. It was a Damon Evans kind of error in judgment. The newest Warrior along with Kurt Thomas and Primoz Brezec admirably helped Milwaukee replace injured center Andrew Bogut in their seven-game series loss to Atlanta. That’s if you replace “helped” with “hindered” and  “admirably” with “embarrassingly.” Playoff numbers: 2.7 ppg / 3.4 rpg / 10.4 mpg.   

Vladimir Radmanovic, Warriors (LAL), $6,466,600.*

6.2 ppg / 4.30 rpg / 1.1 apg / 21.7 mpg

Jared Jeffries, Rockets (NY), $6,466,600.

5.3 ppg / 4.1 rpg / 1.4 apg / 25.6 mpg. Jeffries started 37 games for the Knicks before being unloaded to Houston. His 5.3 ppg in 2009-10 equaled his career average. Jeffries and Curry are the final remnants of the NBA…Where Isiah (Thompson) Happens.

RESERVES

DeSagana Diop, Bobcats (DAL), $6,031,800.*

1.2 / 2.4 / 0.5 / 9.7 in 27 games

Etan Thomas, Thunder (WSH), $7,906,088.

3.3 ppg / 2.8 rpg / 0.70 bpg / 14.0 mpg / 23 games / 68 shots

Tony Battie, Nets (ORL), $6,606,600.

2.4 ppg / 1.5 rpg / 0.13 bpg / 40 shots / 15 games / 8.9 mpg

CUT

Adam Morrison, Lakers (CHA), $5,257,229.

I don’t know what’s worse that Morrison, the former No. 3 overall pick, appeared in 31 regular-season games or that I was shocked that Morrison appeared in 31 regular-season games. And to think, he has two championship rings. Stats: 2.4 ppg / 1.0 rpg / 5 of 21 3-pt (23.8%) / 7.8 mpg.

Morris Peterson, Hornets (NO), $5,800,000.*

7.1 ppg / 2.7 rpg / 36.3% 3-pt / 21.2 mpg

Hasheem Thabeet, Grizzlies (MEM), $4,458,840.

He was selected No. 2 ahead of impact rookies like Tyreke Evans, Steph Curry and Brandon Jennings. The Grizzlies sent him to the D-League in February, making him the highest drafted player ever demoted. And despite playing three years at UConn he often looks lost on both ends of the floor. We’ll see how the Summer League treats him, but until further notice, saying Thabeet could be an elite offensive player is like saying Mike “The Situation” could win an Academy Award some day. Stats: 3.1 ppg / 3.6 rpg / 1.3 bpg / 13 mpg / 68 games.

THE BIG LETDOWN

Samuel Dalembert, 76ers (PHI), $12,025,694.

Stats: 8.1 ppg / 9.6 rpg / 1.8 bpg / 1.5 tpg / 3.07 fouls per game / 25.9 mpg.

Mike Dunleavy, Pacers (GS), $9,780,992.

Stats: 9.9 ppg / 3.5 rpg / 1.5 apg / 41% fg / 31.8% 3-pt / 22.2 mpg / 67 games.

Brad Miller, Bulls (SAC), $12,250,000.

Stats: 8.8 ppg / 4.9 rpg / 0.4 bpg / 23.8 mpg / 43% fg

Shaquille O’Neal, Cavaliers (MIA), $21,000,000.

Shaq arrogantly planned “to win a ring for the King.” But after Cleveland’s humbling second-round exit, AOL blogger Tom Ziller wrote that “Shaq is not a ‘king maker’ any longer.” His age is certainly working against him as he’s not even 2006 Shaq and it’s not like his playoff numbers were Jermaine O’Neal-like. Still, he failed to deliver Cleveland the title he promised and at times the Cavs appeared a better team with Shaq on the bench. According to 82games.com, two of the team’s three best units included Hickson-Jamison and Varejao-Ilguaskas in the frontcourt.  Stats: 12 ppg / 6.7 rpg / 1.2 bpg / 23.4 mpg / 49.6% fts / 1.98 tpg / 3.19 fpg / 53 games. Playoffs: 11.5 ppg / 5.5 rpg / 1.2 bpg / 22.1 mpg / 66% fts / 2.18 tpg / 3.73 fpg / 11 games.

Erick Dampier, Mavericks (DAL), $12,115,500.

Stats: 6 ppg / 7.3 rpg / 1.4 bpg / 23.3 mpg / 55 games. In five playoff games (23.6 mpg) he went 0-for-8 from the field and committed nearly four fouls per game.

Elton Brand, 76ers (PHI), $14,858,472.

Stats: 13.1 ppg / 6.1 rpg / 1.1 bpg / 1.4 apg / 30.2 mpg / 76 games.

Rasheed Wallace, Celtics (BOS), $5,854,000.

9.0 ppg / 41% fg / 28% 3-pt / 4.1 rpg / 22.5 mpg.

Averaged 17.1 mpg / 6.1 ppg / 3.0 rpg in playoffs.

His regular season numbers were down 10.5 minutes, 5.9% shooting, and 5.6 points.

Mike Bibby, Hawks (ATL), $6,217,617.

9.1 ppg / 3.9 apg / 41.6% fg / 27.4 mpg

Averaged 4.0 points and 2.0 assists against Magic in 16.8 mpg after 11.0 ppg / 2.9 apg in 32 mpg versus Milwaukee.